Never again
by Ketsi-aiita-n
Summary: Hint of Yaoi, as always. Anzu asked Ryou out on a date, and Bakura comes to the rescue.


Never again. Ever. Please. -

Kesti: Something slightly happier than Angel Hiwitari.

Helen: It made us so depressed.

'Kura: So you decided to torture my Ryou?

Ketsi: Uh…huh…

Helen: The song made more sense with him because he is legitimately British, and the songwords are… British.

Ryou: 'legitimately British'?

Ketsi: Yep. You have a British accent because you are actually British. Rather than just for the hell of it.

Helen-cough- Ren –cough-

Ren-appears- Hey!

Masses-twitch at sudden, random, unnecessary appearance of Ren-

Ketsi: The song is the bonus track on 'Escapology' by Robbie Williams.

Helen: It's dedicated to Britain. Oh, and the AAC – the Anti–Anzu Community.

I used to be a spacer-

Ryou was very confused. He had no idea why he was here.

He blamed Bakura.

His Yami had an affinity for alcohol, and this had been arranged whilst he was around. And drunk.

"This is nice," Anzu said dreamily, smiling at Ryou.

Is it- Ryou thought, but gave a half smile and nodded.

/Bakura, if I could, I'd kill you./ Ryou thought. He could hear 'Kura laughing evilly.

You want it to stop? 'Kura asked.

/Oh, please yes./

As Bakura took over, Anzu hardly noticed. This was strange, because she was gazing adoringly at him.

"I'm so glad you agreed to coming on a date with me," she sighed.

Time to irritate her, Bakura told Ryou, with an evil cackle.

-

Is the Richard Gere Gerbil story true?

Who came third in World War 2?

Did Sooty sleep with Sue?

These things I think about,

when I'm out with you...

-

Bakura began to hum.

One thing Anzu couldn't stand was humming.

Ryou danced. Go 'Kura, go 'Kura. Go, go, go 'Kura, Hey! He watched Anzu frown a little and bite her lip to stop herself shouting at Ryou.

-

What are the holes in biros for?

Which one's which in the Corrs?

Did Geff Hurst really score?

Coz frankly your a bore,

and I'm not...

-

"Ryou…" Anzu began.

Bakura kept on humming, partly out of rudeness and partly because he didn't usually reply to the name of Ryou.,

Anzu stopped and grabbed Bakura's arm. "Are you alright?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes." And then he was humming again.

-

And if it's leavin' season your second on the bill

If you wont leave me baby I'll find someone who will,

I tried love, I'm sorry

I tried love...

-

"Ryou, I get the feeling that you don't want to be here."

"I don't," Bakura said matter-of-factly. "I'm here because I was drunk."

"You don't get drunk," Anzu said warily.

"Nope. Ryou doesn't get drunk.

-

Does God ever get it wrong?

Where has Gary Barlow gone?

Why is Christmas Day so long?

It just goes on and on... and on,

Like you,

-

"Ryou doesn't…" realisation dawned on her face. "Bakura! How dare you!"

"Ryou's a pushover," Bakura said. Ryou yelled in protest. "He came because he didn't want to hurt you. So…I'm doing it for him."

-

And if it's leavin' season your the second on the bill

If you wont leave me baby I'll find someone who will,

I tried love, I'm sorry

I tried love...

I tried love, I'm sorry

I tried love...

-

"Oh."  
Want me to stop yet? 'Kura asked.

/No I'm feeling evil. Keep going./

I love you when you're like this.

"Honestly, Anzu, you annoy the hell out of him. And Yuugi. And Jounouchi. And -"

"Bakura…"

"What is it with you friendship speeches?" Bakura was in his element, and Ryou had no intention of stopping him. "You never stop! I'm sure, by now, that everyone has figured out that 'everything will be alright', because you've got that goddamned Pharaoh looking after you! Stop telling them that!"

Ryou kept on dancing. Go 'Kura, go 'Kura.

"I'm just trying to help…"

"Don't bother! I was talking to Jou the other day, and he was complaining about those friendship symbols you drew all over them! You know what? It DOESN'T COME OFF! You've probably infected them with friendship speeches! And they keep glowing at odd moments! I heard from - no, you're not hearing that - that it really confused Kaiba! Seriously! Hands should not glow when you're - no, you're not hearing that either. But come on!"

/'Kura…you can stop now…/ Ryou said.

Awww….I was really getting into it…

/I know. Just…end this now. I don't want her to kill me. Us. Erm…/

Yes, yes…

-

Why is there ketchup on my sleeve?

Do you think Adam fancied Eve?

What if Eve could not conceive?

And he had to breed with Steve,

We'd all be gay...

-

"Anyway," Bakura said brightly, as though their conversation had been about kittens, puppies and other fluffy things (which would cause Bakura to commit suicide, but hey) "We have a date with Malik to get to."

Bakura simply turned and walked away.

You can let me out now.

/No, I really can't./

There was silence for a moment.

'Kura…you weren't serious about that date with Malik were you?

Bakura just smiled.

I used to be a spacer-

Ketsi: Yeah. So…yeah.

Helen: Plot? What Plot? No plot here, none to be seen at all!

Malik: Yay for dates with 'Kura!

'Kura: Everybody loves me.


End file.
